"Family Leadership"

Here are five things that the scriptures teach that parents should do to lead in their homes righteously:  

1. Be a righteous example to our children. 
2. Teach our children to walk in the ways of truth and light, and correct them when necessary. 
3. Share our testimonies and experiences of God’s blessings and His miracles in our lives. 
4. Pray with our children. 
5. Create a culture that draws our families together. 

Let’s explore each of these topics.

Be a Righteous Example

My mom taught us to serve by asking Heavenly Father each day, “Who needs my help?” She would then serve whoever came to mind. Not surprisingly, I find myself looking for someone to serve every day.

Now, all of us make mistakes. Our experience is that, as parents, we made a lot of mistakes. Our children did too. Consequently, one of the most important things we can do as parents is repent. Our children need to hear us acknowledge our mistakes and apologize to them and others. They need to see us do better by relying on the strength that comes from drawing closer to Jesus Christ. If they see their parents repenting, our children will know that repentance is part of becoming what God expects us to be. They are more likely to come to us for help when they make mistakes, and they will also be more likely to repent. 

Teach Our Children to Walk in Truth

Bear Testimony of God’s Blessings and Miracles in Our Lives

Here are a couple of miracles that we remember in our family: 

• President Ashton: We took a family trip many years ago. Before that trip, we asked Melinda’s dad to give us each a blessing. Parenthetically, those who hold the priesthood of God in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, like Melinda’s father, can give blessings to others. Among other things, God blessed us through Melinda’s dad that we would be safe.

  One day on this trip, our five-year-old son bolted across a street into the path of an oncoming car. As I yelled at him to stop, I remember thinking that I was about to watch my son die. The driver of the car slammed on her brakes, and, miraculously, the car pivoted 360 degrees around our son with only inches or centimeters to spare. The car got so close to our son that the driver thought she had killed him. Fortunately, our son didn’t have a scratch on him. 

• Sister Ashton: One of our children had anger problems as a child and preteen. Each day, he would run to his room, slam the door, and yell, “This is the worst day of my life!” This went on for a few years. After praying about how to help him, I felt impressed to pray with him every night that he would learn to manage his anger. Within days of doing this, this child’s anger began to subside. After a few weeks, he no longer slammed the door and yelled about how terrible his life was. Today, he is a well-adjusted adult who manages his anger well. 
  

Now, God doesn’t solve every problem. We grow from the challenges and difficulties we experience. Sometimes, rather than solving our problems, God gives us strength to endure them. But we testify that God can perform miracles in our lives according to His will and timing. 

Pray with Our Children

We prayed with our children each night until they developed the habit. We have daily family prayer. We take turns saying the prayer. This has been a blessing, especially when someone needs special help. Not only has it helped us receive divine help, but it has brought a feeling of love and unity into our family.

Occasionally, when saying family prayer, I have forgotten to pray for our children to do well in their schoolwork. Usually, when this happens, one of our children will say, “Dad, you forgot to pray that I’d do well on my test today.”

Create a Culture that Draws Our Families Together

Our family cultures also need to be based on treating one another as God treats His children. One of the most helpful scriptures for us as parents has been Doctrine and Covenants 121:41–46. Speaking of those who want to lead righteously, the Lord said:

This scripture teaches that, if we are righteous and treat our families as God treats His, then God will teach us how He saves His children, and our families will want to be with us and follow us.

Conclusion

President Ashton: As we conclude, for those of you who are married, do things that strengthen your marriage: tell each other, “I love you,” have a weekly date night, hold hands often, sit next to each other, and spend time together. If you are separated, divorced, or widowed, know that God is aware of you and your children. As you keep His commandments, He will bless your family and bring you joy. If you are not married or don’t have children yet, prepare for it and trust in God’s plan for you.

Sister Ashton: God wants us to have happy families. As we mentioned earlier, no family is perfect. However, by following these principles, we can create the best conditions for happiness and foster positive family relationships. We will become more like our Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. Consequently, our families will flow unto us “without compulsory means” in this life or the next.

President Ashton: I testify that President Russell M. Nelson is God’s prophet, Jesus is the Christ, and we have a Heavenly Father who loves us and wants to help us to find joy and return to live with Him again. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.