What can we learn from Book of Mormon stories and President Nelson about how to manage conflict?
Seek to listen and understand
In the Book of Mormon, a conflict began between the people of Limhi and the Lamanites. After some of the Lamanite daughters were kidnapped, the Lamanites were quick to blame and attack Limhi’s people. When Limhi’s soldiers had captured the Lamanite king, Limhi commanded the soldiers not to kill him. Instead, Limhi chose to listen and try to understand the king’s perspective rather than continuing to fight.
As they conversed, the king of the Lamanites was pacified and said, “Let us go forth to meet my people, without arms; and I swear unto you with an oath that my people shall not slay thy people.”Respond with humility and patience
In the middle of a long war, a captain named Moroni needed support and supplies for his army but hadn’t received any. In frustration, he wrote a bold letter to Pahoran, the chief judge, accusing him of laziness and betrayal for failing to send government support.
Pahoran could have reacted in anger to Moroni’s harsh words, but instead, he civilly explained that a rebellion in the city had prevented him from sending help. He said to Moroni, “You have censured me, but it mattereth not; I am not angry, but do rejoice in the greatness of your heart.”Like Pahoran, you can respond with charity and humility to resolve misunderstandings in a peaceful, productive way. For example, you may have a classmate whose personal challenges affect their ability to contribute to a group project or communicate well with you. How can you set expectations while showing compassion?
President Nelson also said, “We rebuke the adversary every time we heal a misunderstanding or refuse to take offense. Instead, we can show the tender mercy that is characteristic of true disciples of Jesus Christ.”